Burning Man

Burning Man. So many things to so many people. It’s a crazy mad, magical, spiritual and beautiful place. As my friend Patrick says, it’s a place to disconnect to reconnect. Following this year’s burn, I’ve taken some time to reflect on my time on the playa and writing seemed like a good outlet. However, I’ve had a really hard time writing about it! I feel like I’m not doing justice to all experiences that are crammed into one sleepless, overstimulated week, but I’m going to try.

I struggled with the decision to go back this year. After returning to San Francisco after months of traveling I was torn: go back to Burning Man or book a flight to a foreign country I have yet to explore. Normally, I would choose to go somewhere new over returning to a place I’ve already been, but I had the opportunity to go back with friends that I bonded with my first year. Then I was gifted a ticket so things seemed to fall into place. And there’s something about bedazzling everything in your “Burning Man box” that just gets you excited about rolling around in some playa dust.

This year was hot. Like sauna, I can’t move, I may die, HOT. It was so blazing hot the day we arrived that I wondered how I was going to survive the week in this dusty oven. Why did I choose to spend my precious vacation days here of all place? After setting up camp, I laid down in the shade and thought that if I just stayed perfectly still maybe I would cool off. Then a nice guy walked by and dumped a cup of ice on my chest. It brought me back to life! I admit that maybe I’m being overly dramatic about the heat, but San Francisco had turned me into Goldilocks.

Despite the rough start, I had an exceptional time. As I’ve taken some time to process, I’ve spent some time reflecting on a few ideas that made my time of the playa special this year.

EMBRACE YOUR INNER CHILD

Remember that kid you used to be? I used to run around wearing a Mary Lou Retton leotard that my mom made because I was going to be an Olympic gymnast when I grew up. I miss that kid. The one that believed that she could be anything. Something happens as we age: the self doubts, holding onto things you should let go of, dwelling on who or where you’re supposed to be at this point in life. At Burning Man, you let all of it go. You escape from reality. There’s this freedom of expression that makes you feel like a kid again. I wore a unicorn mask that was gifted to me by a dear friend every night. My last night, another friend dressed me as a dinosaur, because why not? You stop worrying about who you should be, what you should do, what people think. It’s so freeing to let all that shit go. Embrace that inner unicorn.

CONNECTIONS

My favorite part of Burning Man is never knowing who you’re going meet. I came back for my second burn with the amazing people I connected with at my first. I met a random group of strangers one night who took me in as their friend like we had known each other for years. I met a woman who I talked to for endless hours about life, love and how to change the world. It really makes you feel all warm and fuzzy on the inside.  

It’s a rare gift to meet someone where there’s that instant spark, that magnetism that draws you into them. There’s this freeness that allows connections to form quickly. Boundaries are blurred and you just enjoy eachothers company. You open yourself in a way that is vulnerable yet powerful. The piece that’s hard for me is the sense of loss when it all ends. The connection suddenly feels like a ghost and you wonder if it ever existed in the first place. However, I’ve realized that maybe some people are only meant to come into your life for a moment – to share an experience, inspire you to try something new, to see a different perspective. Every connection has a purpose, some just cut a little deeper than the rest.

TEMPORARINESS

This is what makes Burning Man so unique. The creativity, the expression, the love and the time that people put into building a city and art that exists for a brief moment. The breadth of creativity ceases to amaze me. It’s this alternate reality created with anything imaginable and even more that’s unimaginable until you experience it.

One of my favorite pieces was Firmament Reborn, which was LED canopy that we’d go and lay underneath at night. One evening there was a cello performance and the lights danced to the music. I felt so at peace. The Tree of Tenere became the beacon that I somehow ended up at, even for a few minutes, every night. To think back now, none of it is there. It was there to be experienced for a moment, to share with those around, and now it’s all gone. It forces you to be present in the moment and appreciate things for what they are and let go of those not meant to be.

SPIRITUALITY

Spirituality is something I’ve struggled with in my adult life. I believe there’s a higher power that connects all of us as humans. I believe you can be spiritual without participating in organized religion. There’s something amazing about sitting in a space that transcends any one religion and allows people to feel connected. Over the week, I visited the temple several times. You feel this power when you get close – the love, the loss. There’s so many emotions breathing in the space as you walk through and read the notes that you truly feel what other people are sharing. We can be people of many faiths, or even faithless, but there’s a human interconnected spirituality that ties all of us together.

PRESENCE

So much of life is about planning. Even going to Burning Man, there is so much planning. But once you arrived and camp is set up, there’s nothing to do but be and explore and be present. The beauty of this environment is you stay present and experience what’s in front of you. You allow that inner child the freedom explore. You stop worrying about the future what ifs and just enjoy things for what they are at that present moment. The only other time in my life I experienced this was while traveling and it’s the most peaceful and well balanced I’ve ever felt. There’s a protective barrier I let down because there’s no thoughts of future repercussions. It’s safe. And while this has it’s downsides, there’s a lot to be learned about yourself in this state. It’s made me think – how do you take these pieces of presence and openness and keep them in your everyday life?